I feel uncomfortable writing this in a uni blog but I think this is important to document in regards to how im struggling with the increasingly self determined approach to Illustration and Effectively manage time aspects of this brief and this break up is definitely a critical incident which is affecting me. I have basically lost a whole weeks worth of work time for this project through my incapability to work.
- Im trying to keep myself busy and the only time I can be productive is when I am with other people for otherwise I just break down. Im trying to fill all of the gaps with keeping myself physically distracted. My best solution is to try to do work with a friend around.
- I am really struggling to draw when I am sad and feel terrible. Im struggling to be creative and have the patience to deal with things not going quite right. I know that I should be projecting all of my energy and taking my mind off everything through getting engulfed in this project but i cant get in the zone. Even when I do its hard because this horrible feeling comes in waves and when it hits it makes me feel awful for hours. Its frustrating because I would prefer to project this negative energy into creativity to cheer me up but I really cant.
- Its like starting university all over again as I have to get used to that my room is where I always live and that I need to learn to be alone.
- I know that this is a project which needs a lot of time invested into it and the amount of work that I have to do for this project is stressing me out. Luckily I have a week of mainly studio practice next week so i just hope that I am in a better state so I can get on with everything. I know it is achievable but I feel so flakey.
- It doesn't help when my track is such a positive song in which I have chosen to illustrate a first kiss
I have never felt like this/had this happen before and it has hit me like a bus.
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