Christopher Hoare interview

Christopher Hoare, Me

So do you like trees?

I do, I do like trees.

What do you like about trees?

I like the fact that they absorb Carbon Dioxide and produce oxygen.

And that is important!

It is important because otherwise we all DIE because we need to respire oxygen and humans and trees work in conjunction with one another.

Do you like being in trees?

I do. I like being in a forest. I like the bloody sound of nature mate.

Do you have any stories about trees? Incidents that have happened?

Argh I’m trying to think! That is something to drop on me!

Okay well here is a story about a tree. Back I when I was a young boy living in Dorsett with my brother in our back garden we have this awesome ash tree okay, and its branches went out just in the shape of a ladder so you could climb all the way to the top and it was great! And then one day my parents we talking to our neighbour and he was like ‘oh yeah I can get rid of those annoying branches if you like’ and they were like ‘oh yeah thank you so much!’ so he came over with his hacksore and got rid of them. The we couldn’t do it anymore!

Also I tried to make a zipline out of that tree because when I was younger I believed that cartoons were real. Just like today! And I tried to make a zipline using a coathanger and I fell down and really injured myself… The coat hanger broke…

I bet bits of your bones did aswell.

Well you know I drank my milk. I just bounced back off the floor and back into the tree, that’s how strong they were.

Have you got a favourite type of tree?

Ooooh. I do like a good Bayer back tree.

Are they from England?

Nah, they are from Africa. And it don’t just like them because they have to word ‘Bae’ in them.

Well why do you like them?

Because the shape of the Bayer back tree is really really crazy. They’ve got like MASSIVE MASSIVE wide trunks and then it is just flat at the top pretty much. Pretty much a ‘T’ with a fat middle bit, just full of water. Quite cool.

I can talk to you for days about trees mate.